what is lazy?

A dictionary definition : Laziness is a disinclination to effort or work.

I’d like to add that it also works out as continually choosing the short term pleasure over the long term pleasures. Perfect example -staying up late and/or sleeping in. Sometimes good, sometimes OK, but not always OK. Yep, that’s me, but the problem is I don’t want to be like that.

So I think the new psychologist has got me a bit wrong. I think he thinks that I’m like super controlled, super organized and just need to learn to let go, and love being “lazy”. I’ll have to fix THAT misconception. I’m none of those things, I just want to be – which is much harder to live with both for me and my family.

My life is not about “letting go”, really it’s about me needing to get a grip. I want to take hold of my life and stop letting it all “happen to me”.  I want to carry out some of my dreams, or at least have a go at them. I have my inner child well and truly let out of the bag and need to access some kind of outer adult in order to do and be some of the things I want to, so that I can at least be pleased that I didn’t waste my whole life.

He pointed out that I say “get over it” a lot, and he suggested that I thought “whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” and I reluctantly agreed with that, but pointed out that I wasn’t really comfortable with it. I’ve since thought it over, and realise that I don’t think that at all. “Whatever doesn’t kill you, could really fuck you up if you let it.”


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